Think about the worse thing that can happen and *rolls dice* make it 14x worse and *spins wheel* add major death and *shakes magic 8 ball*cut a limb and * picks a card*explode these ships and *throws dart* add a betrayal and *flips coin* fake a murder and *draws sticks* erase someone memory and *uses ouija board* kidnap the kids. There, it’s perfect. Oh! And also, kill the dog.
I don’t love you because you’re smart and kind. I don’t love you because you’re hard-working and competitive and way too defensive. I don’t love you because you are incredibly sexy. I love you because you’re my best friend. And I want to grow old with you.
tbh i am not the person you want to be texting in an emergency, my notifications are off and i’m on Do Not Disturb. i haven’t had a ringtone since the dark years of ‘06. i’ll text u back in four (business) months like “hope that worked out, the Lord works in mysterious ways xx”
